Homeward bound?

Sam and me this morning. Mr. Shark is in the background.

The doctors told us yesterday that the only thing keeping Sam in the hospital right now is his white blood cell count. If/when that count goes up past a certain threshold, they'll send him home with us. Which would be (mostly) great, if only temporary--he will eventually have to return for the long, arduous transplant process.

Mostly? Because the burden of properly taking care of an immune-compromised infant for several weeks would be ours to bear, not the hospital's. They would surely teach us all we need to know about protecting him, taking care of his PICC line and nasogastric tube, administering any meds he's still on, etc.; that part doesn't bother me. What does is knowing that we would surely not be as quick as hospital staff to identify problems (e.g., infection) and, if needed, have them properly addressed. I don't mind taking his temperature several times a day. I'm not thrilled to know that if he's even mildly febrile he'll have to go (back) to the hospital...stat! [Update: also a bit anxious that we will have to try to turn our house--tidy if not genuinely clean--into a more sterile environment, free as much as possible from bacteria, dust, mold, fungus, and whatever else they tell us would pose a threat to Sam. I can easily imagine becoming paranoid in not much time over whether we, Sam's parents, are endangering his health by not doing X, Y, or Z adequately, properly, etc. Anyway, nothing is guaranteed, and we are still probably a couple of weeks away from any of this.]

On the other hand, we would dearly love to not spend all day, every day at the hospital. Not have Sam tethered to a machine. Feed him at home. Take him outside. You know, live something of a normal life.